By TARA CONNOLLY Staff writer
When Jean and John Cieslukowski, parishioners of St. Joseph, Frackville decided to get married in 1969, when they were 18 and 21 years old respectively, they sat down and had a long talk about their expectations of marriage and how they hoped it would turn out.
“We were both raised Catholic and we both expected God to be at the center of our lives. We never drifted from that expectation,” said Jean. But married life did not go according to their plan.
The Cieslukowskis were one of 142 couples commemorating a combined 6,327 years of marriage Sept. 15 at the Diocesan Anniversary Mass Celebration at the Cathedral of St. Catharine of Siena, Allentown.
Bishop of Allentown Alfred Schlert was the main celebrant and homilist at the annual celebration. Concelebrant was Monsignor Francis Schoenauer, pastor.
The Cieslukowskis, who observed their 50th wedding anniversary Aug. 3, said married life started out blissful after her uncle, a diocesan priest, presided at their nuptials.
But when they hoped to start a family, Jean was unable to conceive and together they embarked on the struggle with infertility.
“It was hard to see God’s plan. It was hard to realize that we could not have a family in the conventional way. We were both angry. But, John is a loving and patient person – more so than me. And I really think his love and our devotion to God got us through those days,” she said.
While the couple was struggling with infertility, John was called to serve in the Vietnam War as a helicopter pilot.
“That wasn’t part of our plan. I think I finally realized at that time that God had a different plan. I didn’t like it – but I began to see it was a better plan,” said Jean.
With John away in combat from 1970-71, Jean attended Mass every single day. That helped her to live daily life without her husband and she believes it ultimately brought her husband home.
“We were blessed that he came home. His roommate...was killed after being shot down in a helicopter,” she said.
After facing the reality that a biological child was not possible, the couple turned to adoption and welcomed their daughter, Gretchen into their lives.
“She and our four grandchildren are the biggest blessings in our lives,” said Jean.
The couple set out to adopt another child, but that dream was dashed after John suffered disabling injuries in a car accident.
“That changed a lot of things. It was hard to adjust being home together all the time and we struggled financially,” said Jean.
“God was part of the bad times and the good times. We struggled during those years – but things got a little easier,” she recalled.
With God’s love and an active prayer life, Jean said they are marking their Golden Anniversary because they didn’t .. quit.
“No matter how bad times got or how bad we argued – neither one of us ever thought about giving up,” said Jean.
In his homily, Bishop Schlert echoed the example of the Cieslukowskis and every couple at the Mass.
“Our society needs you and your example. There are many ways to define love. But there is only one way to define marital love. Your day-to-day living of the sacrament of matrimony is very much needed in our culture. Our society needs to see it,” he told the couples.
In addition, Bishop Schlert called the day of “rejoicing and reflection on married life.”
According to Catholic teaching, the sacrament of Matrimony is established by God as a permanent, faithful, fruitful partnership between one man and one woman. Its dual purposes are the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of children. It is the foundation of family, where children learn the values and virtues that are important for the upbringing of the next generation, and for society as a whole.
“Married life does not come easy. It is filled with ups and down,” said Bishop Schlert.
He then reflected on the day’s Gospel from Luke where a shepherd seeks to find his lost sheep and a woman rejoices upon finding a valuable lost coin.
“Far too often in married life, you seek out the lost and bring them back. It might be a spouse, wayward child or estranged in-laws. When there is a rupture in the family or people wander away, part of the marriage vocation is to go find them,” said Bishop Schlert.
“When families crumble – so does the Church and our nation. Thank you for being loving and faithful spouses, raising children and doing your best to reach out to those who are lost,” he said.
